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Learning Resilience and Courage from Animals
Tag: Grief
2 Powerful Novels Exploring Parallel Journeys of Loss and Renewal
Welcome to the Lit Lounge, where we can chat about books I’ve read and you can join in too. Think of it like an informal book club – grab a drink, get comfy, and let’s explore some great reads together. If you’ve read any of the books I discuss, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments! So, let’s kick back and dive into the amazing world of literature.
I can’t believe it’s already September! I devoured so many books in August, especially ones that explored the theme of grief. The topic really hits home for me because I lost my dad earlier this year, and my mom two years before that. Plus, dealing with the passing of my children’s dad last year has kept me in the grieving process for a while now. Grief is such a rollercoaster – one moment you’re fine, and the next you’re crying your eyes out while doing the dishes. To find some comfort, I’ve been exploring how others navigate their own grief. Books have been a haven, reflecting the ups and downs of the human experience.
Two books that really moved me and explored loss, change, and the power of community are Julia Alvarez’s Afterlife and Heather Webber’s Midnight at the Blackbird Cafe. Alvarez, known for her other books like In the Time of Butterflies and How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents, takes us on an emotional journey in Afterlife. The novel beautifully shows us how grief and growth are intertwined. Midnight at the Blackbird Cafe, on the other hand, is an incredible story by Heather Webber that also explores loss and transformation. Two very different stories both remind us that grief is complex, but healing can come from the support of others and our own personal journeys.
Story Summaries: A Tale of Two Stories
To give you a little background without giving away any spoilers, let’s start with Midnight at the Blackbird Café by Heather Webber, which I rated 5 stars. From the very beginning, I was completely immersed in a world where emotions ran deep, characters felt like cherished companions, and the story touched my soul. The heart and soul of this delightful tale are the characters of Wicklow. With her skillful storytelling, Webber has created a cast of characters that truly resonate and leave a lasting impression. Whether they take center stage or play supporting roles, each character collaborates to weave a narrative that is both authentic and powerful. I found myself whisked away to the charming town of Wicklow, Alabama, fully immersing myself in its Southern charm and unique quirks. This setting enveloped me in a comforting yet enthralling sense of place that added a layer of enchantment to an already captivating story.
Then, there’s Afterlife which I rated 4 stars. Afterlife, written by the talented Julia Alvarez, is a captivating novel that takes us on a heartfelt journey alongside Antonia Vega, a retired professor who finds herself confronted with the reality of living alone. When Antonia’s beloved husband passes away unexpectedly, she embarks on a soul-searching quest that leads her to reconnect with her Dominican heritage and navigate the complexities of familial relationships as one of four sisters. As we follow Antonia’s path, we witness her resilience and determination to rediscover herself in the face of adversity. Alvarez skillfully explores the challenges and triumphs that come with entering a new chapter of life, allowing readers to empathize with Antonia’s experiences and root for her along the way. Through her interactions with the vibrant community around her, Antonia discovers unexpected friendships and a renewed sense of purpose.
Parallel Protagonists: Navigating Uncharted Waters of Grief
Both novels gracefully introduce readers to strong female characters who are navigating a pivotal point in their lives following the loss of a beloved individual. In Afterlife, we meet Antonia Vega, a recently widowed woman who must learn to navigate the tumultuous journey of grief while simultaneously facing the challenges of her own identity. As she grapples with her new reality, Antonia embarks on a profound exploration of her past, present, and future.
The landscape of grief is not very inviting. Visitors don’t want to linger.
Afterlife, Julia Alvarez
In Midnight at the Blackbird Cafe, we are introduced to Anna Kate Callow, a young woman who suddenly finds herself inheriting her grandmother’s small-town café after her untimely passing. As Anna Kate struggles to come to terms with her grief, she is faced with the daunting responsibility of revitalizing the cafe and dealing with a community steeped in tradition and secrets. Through the process, she discovers the power of love, forgiveness, and the healing magic of the café’s infamous blackbird pies.
Both novels delve into themes of loss, personal growth, and redemption, offering readers an intimate and heart-wrenching exploration of the human experience. Antonia and Anna Kate’s stories serve as a reminder that even in the face of tragedy, there is strength and resilience within us, waiting to be discovered.
Exploration of Identity: Navigating the Inner Landscape
In the captivating stories of Julia Alvarez’s Antonia and Sarah Webber’s Anna Kate, we are taken on a journey through the intricate and fascinating world of identity. As we follow the protagonists, we witness the twists and turns of their personal quests to discover who they truly are. With vivid storytelling and relatable characters, these novels invite us to delve into the complexities of self-discovery.
In Antonia, Alvarez introduces us to a captivating character who is at a crossroads. After leaving her lifelong career, Antonia finds herself questioning who she really is beyond her professional identity. As she embarks on a new chapter in her life, she faces challenges that force her to confront her fears, vulnerabilities, and aspirations. Through this journey, Antonia rediscovers herself and redefines her sense of identity.
“I needed to stop dwelling on my deficiencies and start figuring out how to become a self-sufficient, independent woman”
Midnight at the Blackbird Cafe, Heather Webber
On the other hand, in Anna Kate, Webber crafts a narrative that explores the intricacies of familial history and personal aspirations. Anna Kate, the protagonist, finds herself entwined with the legacy and expectations of her family. While she has always strived to fit into the mold set for her, Anna Kate yearns to break free from those constraints and carve her own path. Through her journey, she is forced to confront the pressures and influences that have shaped her sense of identity, ultimately seeking a deeper understanding of who she truly is and what she wants to become.
Both Antonia and Anna Kate embark on profound journeys of self-discovery, facing inner conflicts, external obstacles, and societal expectations along the way. Their stories serve as a powerful reminder that the journey toward understanding one’s identity is not always straightforward or easy. It requires introspection, self-reflection, and a willingness to embrace vulnerability.
Alvarez and Webber’s stories remind us how important it is to be true to ourselves and never stop exploring who we are. When we dive into the adventures of Antonia and Anna Kate, we learn valuable lessons about our own personal growth and self-discovery. These incredible ladies become our role models, motivating us to bravely face our own identities, be proud of who we really are, and tackle life’s challenges with authenticity and strength.
Cultural Roots and Community: Healing Through Human Connection
Though the novels are set in disparate locales—Alvarez’s narrative predominantly unfolds in the picturesque landscape of Vermont, while Webber’s tale envelops readers in the cozy embrace of the small Southern town of Wicklow, Alabama—the theme of community resonates deeply in both stories.
“I’d been called ma’am at least two dozen times in the past week, and despite learning the term was a southern courtesy used on any woman, it still set my teeth on edge. Unless you were geriatric, no one used ‘ma’am’ up north.”
Midnight in the Blackbird Cafe, Heather Webber
In Alvarez’s novel, Antonia finds solace and rejuvenation by reconnecting with her Dominican heritage and fostering meaningful relationships with her family and neighbors. Through communal rituals and shared traditions, Antonia discovers the power of her roots and the importance of human connection. As she navigates her personal struggles and confronts the challenges that life throws her way, she realizes that a strong community can provide support, understanding, and a sense of belonging. The bonds she forms with those around her not only shape her identity but also serve as a reminder that we are not alone in our experiences and journeys.
Similarly, in Webber’s novel, Anna Kate immerses herself in the close-knit community of Wicklow. With its charming locals and small-town charm, Wicklow becomes the backdrop for Anna Kate’s personal growth and healing. Through acts of kindness, friendship, and collaboration, she discovers a network of people who become an essential source of strength during her journey. The palpable presence of community in Wicklow serves as a healing force, underscoring the paramount significance of human connections during moments of profound upheaval. This poignant exploration of the power of community in both novels showcases the transformative impact of shared experiences and the resilience that can be found in the support of others.
A Path from Grief to Transformation
I hope that this discussion of these two novels piques your interest if you haven’t read one or both books yet! Both Afterlife and Midnight at the Blackbird Cafe have captivating stories that touch on themes of self-discovery and the power of human connections. These books remind us that even in difficult times, there’s always the potential for growth and renewal.
“…each one tracing the ridged gold lines, the damage made visible, the platter repaired. It tells a story. That it has been broken. Is beautiful…
Afterlife, Julia Alvarez
Whether it’s the peaceful landscapes of New England or the cozy atmosphere of a Southern café, these stories take us on journeys of healing and understanding. So, grab a cup of coffee, curl up on a cozy chair, and delve into the heartfelt pages of Afterlife and Midnight at the Blackbird Cafe — if you haven’t already.
Buckle up for an emotional rollercoaster that will leave you feeling hopeful and connected to the characters’ lives. Look for my individual reviews of Afterlife and Midnight on Goodreads by clicking on each link. You can always check with your local library for a copy or below are links to Amazon if you are interested in purchasing a copy. And don’t forget to share your thoughts about these books in the comments below. Let’s keep the conversation going and discover the beauty of storytelling together!
Disclosure: This article may contain affiliate links, which means that if you make a purchase through those links, I may earn a commission at no additional cost to you.
My March Reads & Listens
We welcomed spring to the mountain in true New England style this month – four seasons in one day. March was filled with a mix of snow – lots of snow, wind – 58 mph wind at one point, and sunshine. There were days where it was 10ºF and other days it was 48ºF. I was reading when I wasn’t outside snowshoeing with Mark and the dogs or bringing in firewood. I still haven’t been able to bring myself to draw – a creative dry spell that started months ago now. Reading and writing have been a saving grace for me as I am still just a few months out from my dad’s death, and the grieving process takes time.
I finished five books in March: two hardcover – The Plot and The Hidden Life of Trees – Illustrated Edition. I listened to two audiobooks – A Grief Observed and The City We Became and finished Alice Walker’s collection of short stories in her book In Love & Trouble on my kindle. I am really enjoying reading short stories; I think great writers say as much in a short story as mediocre authors can in an entire book.
In Love & Trouble: Stories by Alice Walker
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Alice Walker’s Love & Trouble: Stories is a powerful and moving collection of thirteen of her short stories, which I highly recommend. Published in 1984, each story is rich in imagery, symbolism, and themes. “Everyday Issue,” “The Revenge of Hannah Kemhuff,” “Strong Horse Tea,” “Roselily,” and “To Hell with Dying” were just some of the other stories demonstrating the talents of Walker’s ability to say so much in short story form. Each story is filled with emotion and insightful narratives revealing how racism, sexism, and classism have affected black women.
Mysteries are some of my favorite books, and The Plot was a highly praised book when it first came out, which enticed me to put it on my TBR list initially. A few friends read and liked it, so I was excited to finally turn my attention to what I hoped would be a juicy mystery.
The Plot by Jean Hanff Korelitz
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
The Plot by Jean Hanff Korelitz is a story about a book and writers and a mysterious story. I loved the story within a story and applaud the structure, including chapters of the main character’s best-selling novel, Crib. However, I was not a fan of the main character. The start of the book was slow for me, like how a roller coaster slowly makes its way up the first ramp. But once it reached the top, the ride has one twist I didn’t see, but I saw the final one too soon.
Sometimes I think some books get so over-hyped that they let some readers down because they fall short of what they sell. I struggled a bit during the month with grief and wanted to read something I could relate to. Many years ago, I read the entire Narnia series and was a fan of Lewi’s writing, so I was intrigued when I tripped over A Grief Observed.
A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Recently I have been very acquainted with death and thought I would find something – I am not sure what – in CS Lewis’s A Grief Observed. Lewis has many of the same questions we all have when faced with death and listening to someone else work out these thoughts about love and death; compiled in his notebooks – the title A Grief Observed – not Grief Observed indicates that Lewis recognized that grief is a very individual and personal experience. No two people experience grief in the same way.
I listened to A Grief Observed, narrated by Ralph Cosham, whose monotone and subdued voice seemed fitting given the topic. Good thing the book is only 1 hour and 50 minutes, however. There is only so much that one can listen to. If you are a fan of CS Lewis and interested in reading his entire catalog, perhaps this book is for you if you are grieving and hoping to find answers or some insight to help you get through your grief – maybe. Not that Lewis has the answers, but for some, it helps to know that we all struggle when we lose a loved one; even a famous author doesn’t hold the answers.
2.5 stars rounded up to 3 for Goodreads
Most mornings, I sit at the kitchen table sipping my second cup of coffee while figuring out Wordle, Quordle and Octordle, to which I share my results on my family’s Wordle text thread. Afterward, before sitting down on the mat to meditate – I usually crack open the book I have strategically left there for me to read. I love learning about nature and walking in the woods throughout the year. So I was really excited when at Christmas, I received The Hidden Life of Trees – The Illustrated Edition.
The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
What a beautiful book! The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben is an illustrated companion to his non-illustrated book of the same name. Wohlleben beautifully and simplistically presents his case for the unseen ways trees work within our environment in this abridged version. This book is for anyone interested in our environment, forests, and trees to enjoy. The photos are transcendingly magical, immediately transporting you to the woods no matter where you are sitting. You will want to go outside and be with the trees after reading.
When the month started I had already started listening to my next selection which I chose since it had been on my TBR list for over a year and was a Goodreads Choice Award and Nominee for Best Fantasy (2020).
The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin is an urban fantasy about major cities becoming sentient through human avatars. It’s a wild leap into a confusing, chaotic, multidimensional, supernatural world focused on New York City. A lot is going on in this book – just like the city – there are multiple characters with the narrative jumping around numerous POVs. There are various themes – too many to list.
I wanted to like this book more since I was born and raised in Manhattan and love books about or that take place in the city, but I had a tough time getting into this story. I liked the idea that a human avatar would embody the borough it’s from. I chuckled at how Jemisin includes how each borough feels about the other boroughs – particularly how they all felt about Staten Island. But the setup was slow and many times, I wasn’t sure what was happening; plus, I didn’t find any of the characters likable, which always makes loving the story more difficult. I like the premise, but it fell short for me.
I listened to the audiobook, which lasted 16 hours and 12 minutes. The narrator, Robin Miles, does an excellent job with the many voices. 3 Stars.
So far, at the end of March, I have finished reading 20 books and completed 34% of my goal of 59 books. Currently, I have six books that I am reading in rotation. One is the Bible which I have been trying to read and finish for about two years. I am reading along with “The Bible in a Year” podcast with Father Mike Schmitz on Audible. I’m only on day 90, but we have just started reading Judges and the Book of Ruth, so it’s exciting for me to be this far in.
I am also chipping away at The Art of The Short Story and The Complete Grimm’s Fairy Tales. I have so many reading goals that I have set for myself. The little challenges get me excited about reading. I hope these reviews help anyone in selecting their next book to read and perhaps get them psyched for their next read or listen.
“Make it a rule never to give a child a book you would not read yourself.”
George Bernard Shaw (Irish playwright, critic, polemicist and political activist)
View all my reviews on Goodreads
February Reads & Listens
It’s been a rough month – it only being the second month since my father’s death; he was our sole surviving parent. My mother passed away less than two years ago. Everything is still hard to give my complete focus and attention. Grief smacked me upside the head as I stared down at a knife the other day while unloading the dishwasher. Tears sprung from my eyes as my mind taking me to my parent’s kitchen and their utensils and knives. My parents have had the same knife that caused this floodgate to open –if no one in the family takes it, the knife will be donated along with the rest of the cutlery and everyday plates. No wait, I grabbed the dishes. My feet sink into what feels like sand, hoping to find firm ground.
One of the rocks I’ve been able to cling to during these stormy times has been my books. My pace has slowed, along with everything else. I surprised myself as I completed reading six books, also reading a few short stories as I continue working through The Art of the Short Story. I am reviewing the individual stories but will do so in a separate post. Writing is more difficult these days.
I followed many different themes this month, helping to guide me in making my literary selections. Sometimes I find that to be one of the greatest challenges – what do read next. February celebrated Black History, and I looked to my TBR List to see what fit the bill. Octavia Butler’s Kindred had been sitting on the list for too long, and I was excited by the time-traveling aspect of the story. I love a good time-traveling tale.
Kindred by Octavia E. Butler
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I love historical fiction, and I love time travel stories. So, I was excited to read Octavia Butler’s Kindred finally. The story focuses on two interracial relationships, with the protagonist, Dana, at the center of both. When the story begins its 1976, Dana, a 26-year-old African American writer, is living in Los Angeles with her white male husband, Kevin, who is 12 years her senior. Although Dana is thrust back to antebellum Maryland in 1815, quite a shock for a 20th-century woman. The story follows the developing relationship of Dana with her ancestor, Rufus, the son of a plantation and slave owner, Tom Waylan. Kindred explores ancestry, slavery, and interracial relationships and is a riveting story about family, gender, and power. Butler is a fantastic storyteller who creates interesting characters and relationships. Initially published in 1979, it has withstood the test of time to have been made into a TV mini-series in 2022. I haven’t seen the mini-series, but hopefully, it will prompt others to read the original book themselves. My criticism about the book is that the time travel aspect wasn’t consistent, and the mechanism/portal was unclear to me; other than that, I highly recommend it. I listened to the Audiobook narrated by Kim Staunton, who successfully brings the various characters to life. 10 hours 55 minutes.
Recently I have been intrigued by reading graphic novels. There was something appealing to me about looking at pictures that told a story. Perhaps it was the inner child in me trying to reach back for the comfort of my picture books. It’s a genre I have only just begun to dip my toes into its deep waters. Robin Ho’s Almost American Girl and Isabel Greenberg’s The Encyclopedia Of Early Earth were a promising way to wade in.
Almost American Girl: An Illustrated Memoir by Robin Ha
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Moving is one of the most stressful things people do in life. We’ve all experienced it at one point or another, and if you haven’t – at some point, you will. But most people don’t move to a new country, and for those who do, the experience is even more scary and filled with barriers such as the language. Almost American Girl is a touching YA graphic novel about a middle-school-aged girl being uprooted by her mother from her home in Korea to live in America. Robin Ha’s honest and poignant portrait of her relationship with her mother is powerful and relatable on many levels. I loved Ha’s illustrative style, and the format was an inviting framework for her memoir. This story is pertinent in many ways to more than just the young adult reader. 4.5 Stars rounded to 5 for the Goodreads star system.
The Encyclopedia of Early Earth by Isabel Greenberg
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
The Encyclopedia of Early Earth is a graphic novel with interesting and imaginative woodcut-style illustrations by Isabell Greenberg. The nested story style is one that Greenberg is comfortable with, and I have seen her use it in other graphic novels. The story follows the journey of a boy from his home at the North Pole to the South Pole, where he finds true love. The stories are all retellings of well-known biblical and mythological tales, and after a while, I started to get a bit bored. The last two stories seemed out of sequence with the rest of the book, although it is an “encyclopedia,” which isn’t necessarily sequential. This was the second book I have read of Isabelle Greenberg’s, although this was her debut novel. There were many similarities between the two books, and what I found unique and exciting the first time wasn’t as much so the second time around.
One of my reading goals is to read my way through the collection of various favorite authors I have. My parents were both huge fans of Agatha Christie and they were the ones who introduced me to her murder mysteries when I was a teenager. This month I chose to focus on Christie; I was excited to return to the beginning with her debut novel, The Mysterious Affair at Styles.
The Mysterious Affair at Styles by Agatha Christie
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Sisters can challenge us like no other, and we tend to rise to the occasion when they do. Madge Christie dared her sister, Agatha, to write a mystery that the reader couldn’t figure out the murderer – thankfully, Agatha was up for the challenge. As a result, she wrote what would be her debut novel, The Mysterious Affair at Styles, which also featured the Belgian detective Hercule Poirot. Poison was her first weapon of choice; Christie had an extensive understanding of medicines and poisons from her volunteer work in the dispensary in the Torquay hospital during World War I.
I enjoyed reading this mystery – silly me thought I was clever enough to figure out the murderer since I have read several of her books. That is the beauty and the genius of her mysteries that make them so enjoyable. The Mysterious Affair at Styles proved to be an excellent stepping stone.
Finally, I read two more books – one on my Kindle – The Wim Hof Method: Activate Your Full Human Potential. I have followed Wim Hof on Instagram for several years and wanted to start incorporating cold therapy into my life more than I have with deep breathing and meditation. The Life Fantastic: Myth, History, Pop and Folklore in the Making of Western Culture was a book selected by the Literati Joseph Campbell Myth & Meaning Book Club, and I was excited to sit down with this finally.
The Wim Hof Method: Activate Your Full Human Potential by Wim Hof
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
A Must Read-
I have followed Wim Hof for many years now on social media, so it was a real treat to read the Wim Hof Method. It’s filled with valuable information to help teach the many techniques which Wim Hof uses. Backed by science,Wim includes the results of many of the experiments done on him – strengthening his case for why his method works. Highly recommend to all.
The Life Fantastic: Myth, History, Pop and Folklore in the Making of Western Culture by Noa Menhaim
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
My To Be Read List grew exponentially while reading The Life Fantastic: Myth, History, Pop, and Folklore in the Making of Western Culture by Noa Menhaim. I love reading books like this, and although the format at first took me some time to get used to, in the end, I found the pop-up bubbles to be valuable prompts. I needed a magnifying glass near me since my eyes aren’t great. This book is all about connecting the dots in understanding where modern culture was influenced.
At the close of the month, I have completed 22% of my Goodreads Challenge with thirteen books finished. I’m currently working on a few more including Alice Walker’s collection of short stories and an interesting mystery called The Plot to name a few. Until next month, enjoy reading.
Angels Needed
This week as I gazed upon my Christmas tree, I cried a river of tears for the victims, their families and their friends who are faced which such a tragic loss at this time. My tree has an angel on the top, she’s a beautiful angel with a porcelain head, pretty wings and dress made of netting. She’s holding two candles and a light from within makes her glow. I grew up with a star on our Christmas tree. As I recall it was a fairly cheesy looking thing too with tinsel and colored lights. When I was old enough to get my own Christmas tree, I used a star at first something similar to the one I grew up with.
The angel came about by perhaps divine intervention. I had stumbled upon a late night Christmas movie, The Bishop’s Wife starring David Niven, Cary Grant and Loretta Young. It’s a fabulous classic Christmas movie and as late as it was that night sucked me in immediately. Cary Grant plays an angel in the movie sent down to help David Niven who plays the Bishop.
The movie originally came out in 1947 shortly after WWII. It was a time when many were trying to rebuild their post-war lives and their was still a great need for stories of nostalgia, hope and faith. Our world is vastly different than it was in 1947, but the need for stories of hope and faith are just as great today if not more. Today’s world is a very frightening place where we are no longer safe at college, a movie theater, a mall or even a elementary school. A tragedy of the magnitude of Sandy Hook brings people together. It touches so many people beyond the victims and their families because most everyone has been a first grader at some point, or are a parent who has sent their children off to school, or may have a teacher in their family and because of this all wonder my god what if that had been me, or my child, or my sister or mother?
The pain and grief I have felt this week is eerily similar to the way I felt after 9/11. I was born and raised in New York City which caused me to feel the attack on my birthplace as very personal. A friend’s husband lost his life that day and many of my friends who worked in the financial district had been devastated by their experiences of what they witnessed and tales of escaping the city. I knew our world would never be the same after that. Misuse of religion, power, box cutters and airplanes caused that tragic day. In Newtown, Connecticut a young man who was mentally ill killed his mother because he was afraid she was going to have him committed. He decided to misuse three guns and because of it there are now 26 new angels who no longer walk this earth.
 | |
| Angel |
Shortly after reading this news it reminded me of the Boomtown Rats song, “I Don’t Like Mondays”. In 1979, Brenda Spenser shot 9 people, 2 adults and 7 children from her house which was across the street from her home.
The silicon chip inside her head gets switched to overload
And nobody’s gonna go to school today
She’s gonna make them stay at home….
The more things change the more they stay the same it seems.
I don’t consider myself to be a very religious person. I was not raised in a religious household. I do not go to church regularly. I used to be a “submarine church goer”, only surfacing at Christmas and Easter – but eventually stopped doing that since it felt hypocritical. However, I silently speak with the Lord and Jesus Christ regularly – at times before bed, sometime in the car or while traveling on a plane. I do have hopes, dreams and wishes for myself, my children, my loved-ones. I try very hard to have faith in myself that I continue to raise my two children safely in this very frightening and dangerous world. I hope and pray that somehow they will be able to raise their own children one day in a world which hopefully will have learned some lessons from the past and changed it course not to repeat the fateful mistakes.
Life is filled with challenging moments. The holidays are a time when people are supposed to be happy; making it a thousand times harder for those who are not. The last eight years I have been divorced and forced to share time with my kids on holidays or not see them at all. The pain the first Christmas day that I had to say goodbye to them in the morning and watch them drive off with their father was agonizing for me. I felt like a part of me had been ripped away and I just wanted to cry all day and stay under the covers of my bed. Instead I was supposed to go to my parent’s house to share Christmas dinner with my parents, my siblings and their kids. It was awful. I think one holiday I actually did stay home and wallow in my self-pity. The rest, somehow I found the strength to join the festivities despite my broken heart. As the years have marched on holidays remain challenging, although each year a little less so. I have been blessed these last two years for I have been able to share them with my new love, my boyfriend, Mark.
Life goes on and time helps to heal most of the wounds which have been inflicted on us. The scars left on us by life should be worn on us with pride for they help make up who we are and how we came to be there. Some people’s scars are bigger than others and some may have wounds that never fully heal; for how can someone every fully heal from the lose of their own child?
It’s three days before Christmas and I will close my thoughts with a speech the Bishop gives to his congregation Christmas morning reminding us to remember what Christmas is all about.
Tonight I want to tell you the story of an empty stocking.Once upon a midnight clear, there was a child’s cry, a blazing star hung over a stable, and wise men came with birthday gifts. We haven’t forgotten that night down the centuries. We celebrate it with stars on Christmas trees, with the sound of bells, and with gifts.
But especially with gifts. You give me a book, I give you a tie. Aunt Martha has always wanted an orange squeezer and Uncle Henry can do with a new pipe. For we forget nobody, adult or child. All the stockings are filled, all that is, except one. And we have even forgotten to hang it up. The stocking for the child born in a manger. Its his birthday we’re celebrating. Don’t let us ever forget that.
Let us ask ourselves what He would wish for most. And then, let each put in his share, loving kindness, warm hearts, and a stretched out hand of tolerance. All the shinning gifts that make peace on earth.
“A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference.” Winnie the Pooh
Peace – Xine S.